A night of many firsts! (My MFM come true!)

Well, since my CL post to find someone to cum all over my tits for the hubby’s birthday was so successful, we discussed it and decided to try posting for a guy to have an MFM threesome with us.  Hubby was in charge of posting on the swingers’ site and I was responsible for posting and weeding through the responses from Craigslist.  The ad on the swingers’ site, as always, didn’t do us a lick of good.  I decided to go again with an ad sans pics because of the success of the previous ad.  My first posting was flagged almost immediately (as usual) but the second was up long enough that the responses started pouring in!  It was harder than I thought to narrow down and tag the replies that I was interested in because they’d followed directions ( I asked for face and body pics, no cock shots).  I got it narrowed down to about 10 or so and was having a real problem narrowing down further but hubby solved that by doing a quick elimination based on a solid yes versus a maybe.  That brought me to two guys.  I emailed both, but only one of them actually wrote me back.  The messages we exchanged were brief, to the point, and straight forward.  I didn’t get the “weird and creepy” vibe from him, so we talked with him about having him as a guest at the swingers’ club we like.  He checked it out and agreed, so it was a date! 

He wanted to voice verify and I was super nervous but he called and we chatted for a couple minutes and all seemed well, so we proceeded with our date.  He was prompt and got there before even us (I was a total girl and took forever to prepare... I even gave myself my first enema just in case we did the DP thing!).  Again, I was super nervous and when he walked up I was shocked by how young he actually was!  He’d told me his age, but he was so eloquent and succinct that I had a hard time wrapping my head around how much older he seemed than what he’d told me he actually was.  To be honest, I thought he was lying! Haha!  But in the flesh, oh... he was every bit of a newly turned 22 years old!  He was adorably sexy with a bit of scruff that wasn’t quite a beard but was sexy enough to catch my attention and this spectacularly curly brown hair.  And he was wearing Chuck Taylor’s LOL!  I loved it. :)

So anyway, in we went and the craziness ensued!  It was a theme party and the night’s theme was a scavenger hunt.  I did a lot of “firsts”... I spanked a girl’s ass, sucked on another’s tits, got spanked and had my fingers sucked on by random guys... sucked on random guy’s fingers... I stopped short at licking a bald guy’s head (though that was on the list, too).  We had to find guys in tighty whiteys, girls who were wearing a thong, girls who shaved completely bare, guys who shaved their balls, newcomers, and several other hijinks that I can’t recall right now.  The further you went down the list the dirtier things got.  We didn’t do any of the really dirty stuff but that was fine because we knew it was coming later.  But right before we had to turn in our list, the hubby and our guest kept pressuring me to pick something else to do to score more points.  The hubby especially... so I shocked my husband thoroughly by walking over to our third and making out with him.  Hubby says that this is the point of the night where he knew that I was going to go through with it and that it was really going to happen!  Remember, I am not fond of touching strangers or having strangers touch me, so this was a pretty big deal!  At midnight, we turned in our sheet and the hubby and I sat and talked while the young hottie went and got birthday lapdances.  Hubby and I talked and we were both okay, so on we moved to the screen room.  I wasn’t really feeling the flick (some girl was getting fucked in the ass or something) so we decided it was time to get it on :)

OH.... MY... GOD!  I froze initially because once we were naked I couldn’t even think straight!  I can’t even begin to describe how scandalously sensual it was to have four hands, two mouths, two dicks, and two deliciously hot bodies pressed against mine.  I kissed one man, then the other, then licked, bit, sucked... I don’t even know!  Someone’s cock was being shoved down my throat and then someone else started fucking me from behind and dear Lord in Heaven, it was pure bliss!  Whoever I was sucking would force my head down on their cock and when they’d let me up, whoever was fucking me would shove my head right back down.  I got spanked and bruised and bitten... Somehow we moved and I was on my back with hubby holding my legs as far up over my head and spread as wide apart as they could go while the young cutie plowed into me so hard he left handprint shaped marks on my thighs and bruised the hell out of my cervix!  I couldn’t care less at the time, though, because I was just *feeling* everything so intensely!  Then he asked if we could open the room door apparently, but I don’t remember it because next thing I know hubby’s face was buried in my pussy LOL.  He ate and fingered and fucked me until I squirted all over him while our guest took the opportunity to fuck my face.  Then I ended up being spitroasted again and I’d cum so many times at that point I had to beg to take a break. 

After the break, our guest shocked me by asking if we could try anal.  I was frightened, but figured what the hell.  He was apparently a pro because the next thing I knew he was telling me to relax and then suddenly he was fucking me with abandon and it felt amazing... no pain at all!  Not a single shockwave of unpleasantness... his cock is much thinner than the hubby’s, though... I love it when the hubby fucks my ass, but it takes us a LONG time to prep for it and get me open enough for him.  Anyway, so he’s pounding my ass good and hard, fingers digging into the flesh on my sides and hips... and then he started mumbling something about how soft I was and felt and damn if that wasn’t sexy as hell.   So of course I started orgasming again.  I needed another break because he’d fucked me dizzy... he said he was going to go clean up and would be right back.  Hubby and I made out some more and I started sucking him again when our young friend came back and said he wanted to continue fucking me in the ass.  Who am I to refuse? ;)  He wanted me missionary, and of course I obliged.  It was... I don’t even know!  I hadn’t had anal that way with the hubby because it hurt, and I had several orgasms right away.  I am thankful he went to wash his hands, because he had as many fingers as he could fit in my vagina while he continued thrusting into my ass.  Apparently this too shocked the hubby because he just sat and watched it happen lol.  He told me this went on for a good half hour or so before the youngster kindly informed me that he was going to cum soon and asked me where I wanted it.  I told him he could take his choice and he asked to cum all over my tits.  I mean, he actually asked!  How sweet is that? :)  It was a huge load, too...  and I walked out of there on wobbly legs with a humongous grin on my face.  What a night!  It’s something I would really enjoy doing again.  I am still baffled that his being a stranger didn’t bother me a bit and I’m also perfectly fine that we have had zero contact since it all went down.  I thought, all this time, that I needed this to happen with someone that I was really into or had some sort of a connection with... but it turns out, I’m perfectly fine without it!

Hubby has a birthday coming up...

This year, I thought I would try something different to give the hubby as a birthday present. Contrary to what people.may believe, I am not the type who fucks or plays with other people on a whim. In fact, I've not had any penis except hubby's in my vagina for over 10 years now. I did play with a guy once a few years back, but that was it until recently.

See, hubby has been teasing me about having a random guy take pictures of me or cum all over my tits before I get home from work. This was his birthday present this year! Finding a guy who wanted to help who I was comfortable with cumming all over my tits was a bit more complicated than I thought it would be. But luckily I found a kindhearted volunteer and he shot an amazing load right where I needed it!

It was actually a lot better than I thought it would be, and now I want to try something else! I mean... I never even knew his name... And surprisingly, I am more than okay with that. What, oh what have I done? :)

the Crush.

I have this huge crush on a girl at work. From the moment I saw her, I was blushing and giggling like I had suddenly become 15 years younger. She is so handsome, and chivalrous, and noble... *sigh*

She started out as an intern for my team and I found myself simultaneously wishing for and praying against having to help her learn something or being alone with her. It was torture! Because of course I ended up needing to do both... quite often! I'd feel like an idiot fawning over the way she smoked her cigarettes and talked about her girlfriend or always got there first so she could hold doors open.

Now she's a coworker, fully hired by the company and in a completely different department and location. But every once in a while, she makes it a point to call my desk or stop by my cubicle for a quick visit. And I blush and smile and laugh and daydream about making out or riding her hands or face...

Insatiable...

For some reason, I've been insatiably horny lately. It won't go away... It's like a hunger pang that I just can't satisfy or stop! Is it because I am now over 30? If I weren't so damn picky, I'd probably be humping random strangers' legs while out in public! Luckily, I don't often run into people I'm attracted to while I'm out doing my daily routine things :)

Kink, cliques, and whiny bitches.

Recently, I joined Fetlife to see what all the hubbub was about.  I was mesmerized by the sheer amount of forums, groups, discussions, kinks, meets n munches... completely floored. 

But then, it happened.  You know, that thing that always tends to happen on porn sites that aren't Xtube?  I suddenly found myself sinking into a sea of cliques and whiny bitches.  WTF?  I just can't for the life of me understand why even people who are supposedly open-minded are actually elitist as hell.  And elitists always make me feel icky.  :(



Am I too rough on the edges? Too strong-willed and opinionated?  Incapable of interacting socially with fetishists? 

The hubby and I have frequented the same swingers' club for years and we've never really played with others while there.  Sure something sensual has occurred here and there, but beyond that... nada.  Don't even get me started on hookup fiascoes or the whole being stood up thing. 

Nevertheless, my point is this: Why is it that everywhere in life there are always cliques and whiny bitches that mess shit up for everyone else???  Currently there's this huge debacle occurring on Fetlife and EVERYBITCH AND THEIR MOMMA has something to say about it.  I mean, seriously?!? Who the fuck gives two pisses about a "FRO" or Fetlife Restraining Order??? Furthermore, how can you build a community if you're going to exclude newcomers who don't fit the stereotypical lust icon model for the average 18-35 year old white American male?  It just baffles me...

And furthermore, why post something on a forum, then get pissed when someone responds in a way you don't like?  If you don't want the general public's opinion, you shouldn't be posting shit on the internet, dummy!

UGH.  Okay, I'm done with this rant for now... but I just had to get it off my chest. :)

Splish... splash... zzzzzzzzzzzzz

This was originally written by me & posted on the Xtube forum, but I decided to share it here as well! :)

This morning I was so horny that I squirted a huge puddle all over the bed... and my husband's face (when he was eating me) and his arm (when he was fingering me) and his cock and body (when he was fucking me). It's been at least 2 weeks since we have had a chance to have at each other, and apparently I had some built up excess that needed to be released. Then, apparently I was so exhausted I rolled over and went to sleep. Literally. I woke up feeling cold and icky and wet... and the hubby showing me pictures of how/why I felt that way made my clit throb in remembrance. Then, he climbed on top of me (I was on my belly, so he was on my back) and started thrusting his cock in between my thighs, just so it rubbed against my pussy but didn't penetrate. It made me soaked in no time flat! I then got out a vibrator where I gave myself an orgasm for the purpose of lubrication (my pussy was sore and swollen from its earlier delicious abuse) and once I did (squirted, again... don't know what was up with that today... lol) I climbed on top of the hubby and rode him 'til we were both finished.

I love him. It helps that our sex is freakin' awesome.
My panties couldn't stay dry at all today after that. LOL!

Road Head!

image from autoclipart.com

On the commute to work Thursday, there was a jeep in front of me erratically swerving and driving precariously slow even though the speed limit was like 55mph. It was really pissing me off, as I have a 30 minute commute on a good traffic day, and I'd been stuck behind this particular vehicle pretty much since I left my house.  Living in the country is great, but driving to the city when there are other people on the road is awful.  LOL.  Nyuck nyuck :)

Anyway, I was now running late thanks to whoever the heck was in front of me, since there hadn't been an opportunity for me to pass them on the long, windy, country road.  Then, at a stoplight, everything became painfully clear!  I noticed why they'd been driving so slowly and swerving around on the road: she was TOTALLY giving him a bj!!!! OH MY GOD!  The voyeur in me was so interested that I no longer cared about the speed, only the act that was taking place right before me!  I immediately called my husband to report my shock and awe over this (and I mean it was 9am-ish, and the last thing I was expecting! lol) and his only reply was a calm, collected, "Well, that's what cruise control is for."   Touché, love... touché.

Anyway, after agreeing with my husband and laughing hysterically and commenting on how the swerving increased and the speed had slowed even further, I was then witness to her leaning her head out the window and spewing his spunk. Ick! Then she actually proceeded to throw up, and they pulled over so that I, and those behind me, could continue on our way. At that point I decided the slowness was a *good* thing, otherwise it would've blown straight back onto my car...

A look at the movie Soldier's Girl from a true soldier's girl :)

I started this particular entry over a month ago now... and as I sit here, I am still at a loss, not knowing what to say.  I didn't get to watch this movie in its entirety, but I was so deeply enthralled and moved, that I had to share its spectacular-ness with you all.  It's apparently based on the true story of a soldier who falls in love with a trans-girl.  By that, I mean a woman who was born as a man, and upon realizing her true self, she went on to live life as a woman, even having reassignment surgery after the incidents that took place in this movie.  A straight, male soldier fell in love with her... and this movie chronicles the chain of events that happened as a result of their love.

It takes a real, hard look at acceptance and tolerance among the members of the armed forces.  It made me stop and truly think about what I have seen and experienced in my own life, and how the slightest thing (a word, a gesture, a look) can mean one thing to one person, yet is interpreted and taken in a completely different way by another.  If you enjoy films that make you stop and think, tragedy, sexuality (and by that, I do not mean sensuality in this instance) and gender related issues... have a look at this film sometime.

LGB's Sex Map - all things real, extraordinary, and imaginary!

I saw this recently, posted by someone else, and thought I'd give it another go.  I'd seen it years ago, via the Xtube forums, and hadn't thought of it since!  Anyway, here are my results (as of today lol).

I am in love with this vibrator!!! <3
Purchased from Adam & Eve

Pretty pink lovely, 

You make me orgasm so!

Batteries are great.

Fantasy Frustration Woes

Button available for purchase here via the artist's etsy site!

For years now I have wanted nothing more than to be fucked by my husband and another sexy hottie. But alas, it hasn't come to fruition. It's been really difficult to find a guy who was actually *SERIOUS* about meeting us both and doing it, and that I actually wanted to fuck. I am not shallow, but I am also not desperate. And, I have certain interests that attract me more than other things. My amazing husband is perfectly capable of fucking me into complete bliss. But I adore men in all their sexy glory, and I want to be completely stuffed... filled to the limit... and enjoy being with two men at once. After several failed attempts (I've been stood up more than I care to mention) my desire has just sort of idled. While it's still there, experience has made me extremely cautious and wary and just damn TIRED of trying. I don't even know that my husband wants to even bother going through with it anymore. It's made it even more difficult than before for me to trust anyone about anything and I don't like feeling this way. 

I am not going to settle and accept the first guy that wants to get his dick wet just to have this thing happen. Yes, I am naked on a porn site, but I am very stingy with my pussy and haven't actually fucked many guys at all. Hell, we even go to a local swingers' club and leave without so much as touching anyone else every single time. The sexy atmosphere and great conversation are always fun, but in the end it still feels like such a waste of time. *sigh*

I guess I am just curious to know how so many women seem to have enjoyed the MFM scenario when I just haven't been able to have it happen yet? Am I too picky? I mean, I love cuck, but my husband is NOT a cuckold at all (and frankly, I don't like the attitudes of most bulls and wouldn't give them the time of day). I don't like BBC/big dicks in general and am too much of a bitch to deal with most guys' cocky attitudes when their junk is huge. I do currently have a guy or two that I've been interacting with for a while now on the radar of "hmmm... that would be SO damn nice!" but again, experience has made me wary. I know that nothing will ever happen if I don't make a move, but how many times should you try something, fail and be humiliated, before you say fuck it & walk away? Some things *are* better left as fantasies instead of reality, right?

What are your thoughts, opinions, and experiences? :)

My first Booooooobgasm!!!!!

OH MY GOD!

Today, the hubby kept teasing me at work while I was trying to organize files, get this week's tests & quizzes sorted out, etc.  He is so damn sexy.  He kept pulling his deliciously thick cock out and stroking it to tease me.  Reminding me that he was commando today, and smacking my ass anytime I was within reach.

It was HOT.

I was ridiculously turned on, but couldn't afford to be too distracted, even though he pulled out all the stops (to the point of bending me over a desk and bumping/grinding against my pussy through my panties.  When we finally got home, I went to lay down with him and he began fondling me all over... he slyly managed to maneuver my left nipple out of my dress and bra and began to suck the hell out of it, biting and tugging.  Amazing doesn't even begin to describe how it felt!  Slowly, I felt myself begin writhing against him... a little at first, then more and more quickly until all of a sudden BAM!!!! A seriously strong orgasm that had me bucking and panting and groaning as though I'd just been fucked senseless! The aftershocks were complete with twitching and giggling while wearing a big ol' grin.

It took a few minutes  for my body to calm down and fully register what had happened.
I still have a HUGE smile on my face.

Yes = no, maybe?

I love men.  They are so damn sexy in all their various shades, shapes, and sizes...

However, I absolutely hate it when they ignore what I have to say and try (against all odds, mind you) to convince me that I should go against my own logic and bend to their will on a whim.  It's laughable, really.  Personally, I think I am quite the bitch.  But without fail, I constantly encounter men who either can't read, opt NOT to read, or simply choose what they wish my words to say.

1. If you ask for my msn/YM/email and I say NO, I don't mean maybe.  I most certainly don't mean YES.  I absolutely, wholeheartedly, without any semblance of a doubt mean NO.
   
2. If you ask me to "c2c" (ugh... I absolutely abhor that term!) and I say NO, trust and believe that I mean that emphatically, with a resounding HELL NO to boot.
   
3. If you give me your number and tell me to call or text you... this one gets another HELL NO.  Likewise if you're bold enough to ask for my number so that you can call or text *me*.  Nuh-uh.  Ain't gonna happen.  (And yes, I did just use "ain't" in a sentence!)
   
4. If you have the audacity to ask me to post more pics or vids (especially and particularly if/when you have NONE or very few posted yourself) even after I state that I have not, nor do I intend to, put up new pics or vids for a while, then damn it all to hell,  I will ignore you.... and have nothing else to say to you for a while.  I have hundreds of pics and at least 12 or 15 vids posted.  Go fap over them and leave me the hell alone.  K?Thx.Bai! ^.^;

The quickest way to turn me (or many women, for that matter) off completely is to *ignore* what I have to say.   I don't appreciate it.  I damn sure don't tolerate it.  And it makes me laugh AT you, not with you.  Idiocy does nothing for me, lovies.  I suppose that's why I have such a huge thing for nerds and super-genius intellectuals. :)

Bottom line?  Yes, I am naked on the internet.  But I also have the right to choose who I do or don't interact with since all my content is free.  You ain't payin' me, bitchezzzzzz.... so you're also NOT my Boss.  This means I could give a rat's ass when you make an attempt at telling me what to do.  Ask my husband how well that works out. :-p

<3 LGB

Fifty Shades of Blah....

Where do I even begin?  

This book caught my attention because my husband directed me to a news article about the book that stated how many women were SO into its dark, brooding, BDSM scenes.  What a joke!  I am not sure how or why this book is even on the Bestsellers list.  Perhaps it's because I am such an avid reader of erotic lit and enjoy BDSM?  

Either way, while I do commend the author's attempt at authenticity, I was appalled at how obvious it was that the author's a Brit trying to write from the perspective of an American.  There were sooooo many odd choices of wording (i.e. the white shirts we Americans refer to as tank tops or "wife beaters", or simply undershirts were referred to in the book as a SINGLET!!!! WTF is a "singlet"???? I had to look it up as we in the USA never, ever use that term! Then there was the implication that any 21 year old college student would actually say something like, "Hey girlfriend!" when talking to one of her besties.... ummm... what?!?!?!  No one actually says "Hey girlfriend!").  I was actually offended by the abundant use of British vernacular amongst two obviously very American people.  The oddness occurred often enough that it consistently threw me off while I was reading, causing me to rely on Kindle's built-in dictionary quite often.

The next thing that I did not enjoy were the Dom/sub and sex scenes.  Classical music during a scene amongst two people under thirty years of age?  Odd, but I went with it.  However, the protagonist's freak-out over being spanked (when she was ready to completely throw away her virginity on a whim) was over the top.  Ana, to me, seemed a lot like Bella Swan.  While I did enjoy the Twilight series overall, I absolutely *do not* like Bella Swan, and likewise felt no connection with Anastasia.  She was too fake/phony/whiny/whatever for me.  I haven't read many books and had an actual angry reaction, but this one certainly made me pissed by the time I reached the end.

I appreciate what the author attempted to do, but I think this book is better described as a romance novel for vanilla people who occasionally think a kinky thought or two.... not as BDSM erotica, which it clearly is not.  If it were more appropriately described, then I probably wouldn't have been as put-off and disappointed as I was.  I really wanted to like this book, but as an erotica fan and non-vanilla young American, I simply couldn't.  The one thing I did enjoy, though, was the non-traditional ending.  That was well-played and executed on the author's part... even if the protagonist was "over the top" about it.  I mean really.... sleeping in a bed smeared with your hymen's blood is cool, but six swats from a belt on your ass is enough to make you get up & start packin'???? Whatevs.

Finding Bliss (movie)

I am a clumsy, dorky, nerdy girl.  Much like the main character, Jody, in the film Finding Bliss.  As a child, she spends a LOT of time pining for the crush of her dreams, playing countless games of spin the bottle, kissing tons of people, and when FINALLY it lands on him... he won't kiss her!  Instead, he calls her a slut.

Wow.

Years later, she is struggling to get into the film industry in Hollywood and this is when the fun happens!  She lands a job editing porn when she knows absolutely zilch about sex!  Yeah, it's a corny plot but it was also quite cute.  Especially the cheesy, almost vulgar faked porn scenes.  While it was a bit predictable with all the foreshadowing and whatnot, it was still a great way to spend an hour and a half of my day.  It reminded me of youth, trust, and just how easily a girl's ego can be crushed... and how her views of sex and sensuality can be skewed by the slightest things.  Luckily though, the protagonist finds her way back to womanhood!

All in all, if you enjoy comedy and think Leelee Sobieski is a super-hottie, as I do, then you'll enjoy this film.  It's currently playing on OnDemand, so make sure you catch it while you can!  Or... get it on Netflix or something.  Whatever :)

The Creepsters... and why we love them!

photo © Sarah Klockars-Clauser
for openphoto.net CC:Attribution-ShareAlike



For anyone who has an online presence, or who's ever tried talking to other people online (with OR without the intent of ever actually "hooking up"), chances are you've probably encountered a creepster.  It's okay, really.  Go ahead.  Think about it....

Now that you've thought about it (even if you may not have wanted to), can you count how many there have been?

Sadly, I can honestly say I have reached the point where I can no longer count them.  But I don't know that that's necessarily a bad thing!  You see, as I was thinking on this over the lovely holiday weekend, I came to a miraculous conclusion: we love the Creepsters!!!!  We do, truly!  Don't believe me?  Well, allow me to explain to you why! :)

The reason the Creepsters are our secret little lovebunnies is because they give us a reason to stay sane by comparison.  It's like, wow... suddenly I don't seem so insanely abnormally odd when compared to THAT Creepster person!  Sheesh.  And then we list off all the reasons (either out loud or in our head) why we are more "normal" than the abnormal creep that just got on our freakin' bad side and then suddenly we are feeling better about our own quirks.  The best thing about it is, we generally don't ever (and I repeat EVER) go out of our way to annoy, irritate, or berate said Creepsters in any way, shape, or form... because we know they will probably go crazy on our asses and resort to some atypical, abnormally creepy sort of violence that we just do NOT want to deal with.  And that shit ain't cool.  So, we keep cool, ignore them quietly, and hope that they get the message and go away or disappear on their own...

Most of the time this method works, and within a few months or a year, we find ourselves in the clear! Yeah! But every once in a while, the Creepster proves themselves to be more problematic than we originally thought they'd be.  If you find this to be the case, go get a restraining order ASAP (if they live in your city) or block them and change your email addy or whatnot if they don't.  It's like feeding the trolls in other places online... the more morsels they get, the worse they behave.  And yes, I have certainly had to take it there a time or two myself!

Finally, please please PLEASE beware of the signs of people with actual mental disorders.  I honestly didn't know I was dealing with a full on sadistic sociopath until it was too late.  Said sociopath sought me out recently and slipped me his number as recently as a month ago... and it's been 2 years since we hooked up.  Two years, folks.... so, please, if you think the Creepster is actually *more* than just a creep, take extra precautions in your own favor, okay?

That said, remember that Creepsters are people, too!  They honestly just fell in lust with your 'net wit and humorously insightful wiles, cunning remarks, and sensual ways.  How could they not?  You're a fox! ;)  And their undying, unrelenting, selfless adoration just shows you how much you have to be thankful for.  And this is why we love them... they may be Creepsters, but they see our beauty beyond our flaws, and love us anyway. We love them back because they make us feel more sane.  It's win-win, right?  At least that's what we'll keep telling ourselves... keep smiling and nodding until they're not looking and you can make a run for it, honey!  ;)

Ignore me... I'm having post turkey day euphoric bliss.

Scooting further into Wannabe-Cougar Status: LGB’s Kryptonite

What is it about teenage boys that makes them so dangerous to me? Most of the time, I make my way through life just fine, thank you very much! But every once in a while I am like a deer in headlights… and the car speeding towards me is a super-hot young thing and for some reason I just can’t damn tear myself away.

I think a lot of it has to do with the fact that even after all these years I am still enthralled with the beauty that is my husband. I think he’s gorgeous, and he makes my heart go pittypattypat all aflutter stutter with his super-long lovely lashes, caramel honey eyes, luscious lips, smooth skin, perfectly maintained and manicured nails, and svelte body. He’s always been oh, I dunno… 60-100lbs smaller than me from the time I’ve known him. Sometimes more, sometimes less, and it drives me absolutely insane with lust. I have no idea why, but it does. He has a sense of style that makes me trust his judgment even more than my own at times. He is stunning, and intelligent, and an intellectual, and passionate about the things he cares about in a way that makes me melt. He is a plethora of knowledge and more than capable of carrying on a conversation with others on a slew of topics, and these are all things that drive me insane with lust if other men have them as well.

So how does all that relate to younger or even teenie bopper hotties? Well, I have this almost fetish-like lust for the perpetually playful as well. Many men tend to lose that with age, and they become hardened and jaded. They also become less curious about the world at large, and I love learning things and can’t ever imagine getting to a point where I no longer wish to discover what else there is to know.

But the main reason I love young guys: long hair and skinny jeans. OH. My. GOD. Now, my hubbykins would never be caught dead in those skinny jeans, LOL. But sometimes he does get to grow his hair out ‘til it gets a bit shaggy and I *love* it. And… although I think most men now might’ve been comfy wearing skinny jeans in the 80s, they totally won’t rock them now. Young guys don’t seem to mind one bit. I like those that don’t rock the skinny jeans too LOL. Emo/scene/goth/industrial/punk/whatever=all good with me. I would say urban, but sagging below the ass makes my skin boil in a NOT so good way. It pisses me off and usually comes with a disgustingly disrespectful attitude. Sorry for the generalization/stereotype but I have yet to be impressed.

The only thing that continues to bother me as I move further into my Wannabe-Cougar Status is that a lot of times, there is an uncertainty, or an insecurity, on the young guy’s part. He isn’t really sure that he actually LIKES( bigger girls, black girls, married girls, older girls, moms, teachers, fill in the blank with your fantasy here) whatever, but wants to try it out. He doesn’t really know if he CAN have sex with another man in the room. He can’t say for certain whether or not he’s able to commit to anything one way or another unless he and I can get together alone first. UGH. So annoying! And so sad.  Still, I want to bite them so badly. They’re scrumptious!
^.^;

Post-fuck-Bliss!

I am feeling languid... sleepy... unable to focus. The hubby says that what happened last night I fully brought upon myself, but I beg to differ. I agree that we both teased each other throughout the day with sexual banter, texting, images.... but I couldn't even hold myself upright when we were done, much less move! How on earth is that my fault? How could I have possibly done that to myself? LOL.

I want to curl up in bed the rest of the day eating sweet goodies and reading. I don't want to be up. I don't want to do laundry. I don't want to cook or clean up anything. I just want to snuggle up with a book and something yummy and snooze between chapters as the day slips away, feeling the remnants of the deliciousness of what happened last night.

My question to you, dear readers if you're out there, is this:
When having sexual escapades, do we bring it upon ourselves if we find that we are completely unable to function due to total satisfaction & bliss afterward? LOL. Do we have only ourselves to blame if our partners give us exactly what we want by fucking us relentlessly, shamelessly, wantonly until we cum all over themselves and ourselves, being totally depleted once we're through?

It is so delicious... but jeez, I don't want to do anything today... and it's fast approaching noon! :P

The dreaded Dirty Thirty!!! Or… Oh no, not the big Three- Oh! :)

I will be turning 30 soon. I have dreaded this day for the past five years now, and now that it's here, I'm actually kind of looking forward to it. It's astounding, really…. All this time I have spent dreading it, only to find that I have developed this amazing "fuck this shit" attitude that I am falling in love with! Where'd that come from? I've no clue, but I think I like it… even though some people are really starting to think that I am a serious bitch LOL. Anyway….

The hubby and I went out last night to celebrate! We went to the swingers' club we frequent and OMG I had so much fun! One of the many things I love so much about my wonderful husband is that he is sometimes more of a kinky, perverted freak than I am. And WHAT a turn on *that* is! ;) Last night was just one of those times where he kept on throwing me into things that we both knew I wanted to do anyway, but wouldn't have the guts to do unless he taunted me into 'em. And honestly, I thank him for it today. I loved every freakin' minute of it. It was great! And now I'm gonna share the run-down with you.

 

To start it off, it was a "retro" theme, and I kicked it *seriously* old school. Far more "old school", in fact, than anyone else there. I went all 1940's pinup, complete with the victory rolls in the 'do, whereas everyone else played it safe and stuck to the 70's, 80's, and 90's. What can I say, though? I'm such a classy dame, I couldn't do it any other way :P LOL! Anyway, it was still lots of fun to see everyone's outfits. I especially enjoyed trying to determine if the hardcore punkrock couple were doing that look for the 80's/90's grunge… or they seriously dress that way every day ('cause dude was sportin' some serious spikes).

 

The first highlight of my night was catching the eye of my girl crush when I walked in. I don't know what it is about noticing that special someone when *they* notice *you* from across the room, but it totally made my mood jump up ten spots! Then the hubby and I found a booth right next to the dancefloor, and enjoyed some… Vanilla Ice! HA! They were playing all sorts of crazy greats.

 

The next highlight of my night was at midnight. Now, I had told hubby that at midnight I was losing the dress, however a couple things happened in quick succession. First, we won a door prize! It's some porno that we haven't had a chance to watch yet. I'll report back on it when we do! ;) And second, when the DJ asked for anyone celebrating a birthday or anniversary to come to center stage for a lapdance… well, no one moved. Not even me, even though in two weeks I'm hittin' the Dirty Thirty. So hubby starts taunting and teasing me GOOD, to the point that I'm like you know what, ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And as I jump up to prance straight up to the middle chair, guess who immediately came up to give me a dance? Oh yeah… Girlcrush central! The DJ was courteous and waited another minute or two and I was finally joined by three other brave souls LOL. Then, the DJ also joined in on giving the lap dances. In fact, he insisted that Girlcrush switch so he could dive facefirst into my lap. J Awesomeness. All four hotties gave amazing lap dances to the guys and gals on the stage (yeah, there were no reservations LOL) and hubby pointed out to me afterwards that I was the only one up there who sat like they were at an actual strip club… that everyone else had their hands all over the people giving lap dances. And this, my friends, had me feeling like quite the childish loser LOL! I was too busy giggling and squealing with child-like fascination and delight, and… shamefully… talking… yes, talking… to the people giving me lap dances. Oh, the horror, right? LOL. God, when the one chick buried her face in my boobs I lost all thought whatsoever… but regained consciousness shortly thereafter, so everything was fine, no worries!

 

After that, it was time for me to remove my red satin dress and show off what I had going on underneath that lil' number the whole time. I'd been sporting this black and gold corset, with matching black and gold side-tie

silk panties and thigh high fishnets. I love corsets…. But it became very apparent that I am gonna need some stronger stuff because my boobs are HEAVY. Still, I think that HipsandCurves may get lots of business from the amount of referrals I gave that night. Apparently lovely corsets and sparkly dangly earrings are excellent conversation starters for women folk! My revelations here will likely be the focus of my next blog, too. I am still kind of undecided, but leaning towards writing about the topic of self love.

 

But anyway! As I am prancing around in my sexy little getup, hubby starts teasing me again about doing something he knew all along I wanted to do: getting a birthday spanking from the resident Domme. She has her own little corner of the club that she runs for the vanilla-ish swingers who come to her for a little spice, but I wanted a real=deal spanking. And BOY did she ever give it to me! Holy Freakin Mother of JESUS did she know what the fuck she was doing!!!!!!!! Spanked my tits straight out of my corset, LOL! I mean, I was screaming and wiggling and moaning like a madwoman! My entire ass was afire but with nary a bruise. I think SHE was excited too though, because normally it's people wanting a naughty "taste" of some S&M, but not the real deal hardcore stuff actual submissives and masochists are into. When I went up, she actually asked me, "So... you're turning 21, right...?" to which I kindly replied, "No ma'am... THIRTY!!!!" and she said, "Are you sure?" and I was like "no...." lol.... so the first smack was actually fairly light. But then… then she asked the tell-tale, "Let me know...was that too hard?" to which I responded by yelling out, "No ma'am, not at all!" and she had that momentary silent pause of pleased surprise followed by a smirking "Oh, really?"

And then she REALLY let me have it :) And she apparently used three different floggers, according to the hubby dearest... and gave me my 5 or ten to grow on with her birthday candle special one LOL! She was all business with that spanking, and I hugged and thanked her profusely for it. I've watched her with others to kind of scope out the scene ahead of time, and she really does put on a ridiculously sexy good show keeping it calm and sexy for the not so kinky folk. I am still smiling as I type this, because it always makes me giggle when I realize how easy I am to figure out for those who *know* what to look for. In this case, it was her position as a Domme. She sniffed me out completely after one swat on the ass LOL. And it was wonderful.

 

There was another reeeeeally sexy girl there too, and I think that maybe perhaps she was flirting with me… but due to my total inexperience I remain clueless in the girl realm LOL. The other things that went down deal with a guy's mistreatment of her, and that too shall remain a topic for another day. Until then… here's to turning Dirty Thirty!

 

I wonder what boundaries hubby will encourage me to push next time we go…

Random Facts: 15 things on Bonita’s “Fucket” List!

_____ MFM 3some

_____ FMF 3some

_____ Groupsex (any combo/straight) – watched, but wanna participate! lol

_____ Groupsex (any combo/bi) – watched this too, dammit! I am such a voyeur LOL!

_____ Groupsex (any combo/lesbian) – okay, watched this as well… but I am TOTALLY cool with that as it was a mind-blowing, once-in a lifetime experience!!!! :D

_____ Be topped by a Domme/Sadist

_____ Domme a sub/masochist

_____ Rope Bondage

_____Talk to a girl crush

_____ Talk to a boy crush

_____ Make out with a girl

_____ Have sex with a girl

_____ Cuck a hottie cucky

_____ Sex a sexy CD/TV

_____ Sex a sexy trans (FTM or MTF… or both!)

 

Key: ___ = completed