Sunday, November 27, 2011

The Creepsters... and why we love them!

photo © Sarah Klockars-Clauser
for CC:Attribution-ShareAlike

For anyone who has an online presence, or who's ever tried talking to other people online (with OR without the intent of ever actually "hooking up"), chances are you've probably encountered a creepster.  It's okay, really.  Go ahead.  Think about it....

Now that you've thought about it (even if you may not have wanted to), can you count how many there have been?

Sadly, I can honestly say I have reached the point where I can no longer count them.  But I don't know that that's necessarily a bad thing!  You see, as I was thinking on this over the lovely holiday weekend, I came to a miraculous conclusion: we love the Creepsters!!!!  We do, truly!  Don't believe me?  Well, allow me to explain to you why! :)

The reason the Creepsters are our secret little lovebunnies is because they give us a reason to stay sane by comparison.  It's like, wow... suddenly I don't seem so insanely abnormally odd when compared to THAT Creepster person!  Sheesh.  And then we list off all the reasons (either out loud or in our head) why we are more "normal" than the abnormal creep that just got on our freakin' bad side and then suddenly we are feeling better about our own quirks.  The best thing about it is, we generally don't ever (and I repeat EVER) go out of our way to annoy, irritate, or berate said Creepsters in any way, shape, or form... because we know they will probably go crazy on our asses and resort to some atypical, abnormally creepy sort of violence that we just do NOT want to deal with.  And that shit ain't cool.  So, we keep cool, ignore them quietly, and hope that they get the message and go away or disappear on their own...

Most of the time this method works, and within a few months or a year, we find ourselves in the clear! Yeah! But every once in a while, the Creepster proves themselves to be more problematic than we originally thought they'd be.  If you find this to be the case, go get a restraining order ASAP (if they live in your city) or block them and change your email addy or whatnot if they don't.  It's like feeding the trolls in other places online... the more morsels they get, the worse they behave.  And yes, I have certainly had to take it there a time or two myself!

Finally, please please PLEASE beware of the signs of people with actual mental disorders.  I honestly didn't know I was dealing with a full on sadistic sociopath until it was too late.  Said sociopath sought me out recently and slipped me his number as recently as a month ago... and it's been 2 years since we hooked up.  Two years, folks.... so, please, if you think the Creepster is actually *more* than just a creep, take extra precautions in your own favor, okay?

That said, remember that Creepsters are people, too!  They honestly just fell in lust with your 'net wit and humorously insightful wiles, cunning remarks, and sensual ways.  How could they not?  You're a fox! ;)  And their undying, unrelenting, selfless adoration just shows you how much you have to be thankful for.  And this is why we love them... they may be Creepsters, but they see our beauty beyond our flaws, and love us anyway. We love them back because they make us feel more sane.  It's win-win, right?  At least that's what we'll keep telling ourselves... keep smiling and nodding until they're not looking and you can make a run for it, honey!  ;)

Ignore me... I'm having post turkey day euphoric bliss.