Fantasy Frustration Woes

Button available for purchase here via the artist's etsy site!

For years now I have wanted nothing more than to be fucked by my husband and another sexy hottie. But alas, it hasn't come to fruition. It's been really difficult to find a guy who was actually *SERIOUS* about meeting us both and doing it, and that I actually wanted to fuck. I am not shallow, but I am also not desperate. And, I have certain interests that attract me more than other things. My amazing husband is perfectly capable of fucking me into complete bliss. But I adore men in all their sexy glory, and I want to be completely stuffed... filled to the limit... and enjoy being with two men at once. After several failed attempts (I've been stood up more than I care to mention) my desire has just sort of idled. While it's still there, experience has made me extremely cautious and wary and just damn TIRED of trying. I don't even know that my husband wants to even bother going through with it anymore. It's made it even more difficult than before for me to trust anyone about anything and I don't like feeling this way. 

I am not going to settle and accept the first guy that wants to get his dick wet just to have this thing happen. Yes, I am naked on a porn site, but I am very stingy with my pussy and haven't actually fucked many guys at all. Hell, we even go to a local swingers' club and leave without so much as touching anyone else every single time. The sexy atmosphere and great conversation are always fun, but in the end it still feels like such a waste of time. *sigh*

I guess I am just curious to know how so many women seem to have enjoyed the MFM scenario when I just haven't been able to have it happen yet? Am I too picky? I mean, I love cuck, but my husband is NOT a cuckold at all (and frankly, I don't like the attitudes of most bulls and wouldn't give them the time of day). I don't like BBC/big dicks in general and am too much of a bitch to deal with most guys' cocky attitudes when their junk is huge. I do currently have a guy or two that I've been interacting with for a while now on the radar of "hmmm... that would be SO damn nice!" but again, experience has made me wary. I know that nothing will ever happen if I don't make a move, but how many times should you try something, fail and be humiliated, before you say fuck it & walk away? Some things *are* better left as fantasies instead of reality, right?

What are your thoughts, opinions, and experiences? :)