LGB's Sex Map - all things real, extraordinary, and imaginary!

I saw this recently, posted by someone else, and thought I'd give it another go.  I'd seen it years ago, via the Xtube forums, and hadn't thought of it since!  Anyway, here are my results (as of today lol).

Fantasy Frustration Woes

Button available for purchase here via the artist's etsy site!

For years now I have wanted nothing more than to be fucked by my husband and another sexy hottie. But alas, it hasn't come to fruition. It's been really difficult to find a guy who was actually *SERIOUS* about meeting us both and doing it, and that I actually wanted to fuck. I am not shallow, but I am also not desperate. And, I have certain interests that attract me more than other things. My amazing husband is perfectly capable of fucking me into complete bliss. But I adore men in all their sexy glory, and I want to be completely stuffed... filled to the limit... and enjoy being with two men at once. After several failed attempts (I've been stood up more than I care to mention) my desire has just sort of idled. While it's still there, experience has made me extremely cautious and wary and just damn TIRED of trying. I don't even know that my husband wants to even bother going through with it anymore. It's made it even more difficult than before for me to trust anyone about anything and I don't like feeling this way. 

I am not going to settle and accept the first guy that wants to get his dick wet just to have this thing happen. Yes, I am naked on a porn site, but I am very stingy with my pussy and haven't actually fucked many guys at all. Hell, we even go to a local swingers' club and leave without so much as touching anyone else every single time. The sexy atmosphere and great conversation are always fun, but in the end it still feels like such a waste of time. *sigh*

I guess I am just curious to know how so many women seem to have enjoyed the MFM scenario when I just haven't been able to have it happen yet? Am I too picky? I mean, I love cuck, but my husband is NOT a cuckold at all (and frankly, I don't like the attitudes of most bulls and wouldn't give them the time of day). I don't like BBC/big dicks in general and am too much of a bitch to deal with most guys' cocky attitudes when their junk is huge. I do currently have a guy or two that I've been interacting with for a while now on the radar of "hmmm... that would be SO damn nice!" but again, experience has made me wary. I know that nothing will ever happen if I don't make a move, but how many times should you try something, fail and be humiliated, before you say fuck it & walk away? Some things *are* better left as fantasies instead of reality, right?

What are your thoughts, opinions, and experiences? :)

Yes = no, maybe?

I love men.  They are so damn sexy in all their various shades, shapes, and sizes...

However, I absolutely hate it when they ignore what I have to say and try (against all odds, mind you) to convince me that I should go against my own logic and bend to their will on a whim.  It's laughable, really.  Personally, I think I am quite the bitch.  But without fail, I constantly encounter men who either can't read, opt NOT to read, or simply choose what they wish my words to say.

1. If you ask for my msn/YM/email and I say NO, I don't mean maybe.  I most certainly don't mean YES.  I absolutely, wholeheartedly, without any semblance of a doubt mean NO.
   
2. If you ask me to "c2c" (ugh... I absolutely abhor that term!) and I say NO, trust and believe that I mean that emphatically, with a resounding HELL NO to boot.
   
3. If you give me your number and tell me to call or text you... this one gets another HELL NO.  Likewise if you're bold enough to ask for my number so that you can call or text *me*.  Nuh-uh.  Ain't gonna happen.  (And yes, I did just use "ain't" in a sentence!)
   
4. If you have the audacity to ask me to post more pics or vids (especially and particularly if/when you have NONE or very few posted yourself) even after I state that I have not, nor do I intend to, put up new pics or vids for a while, then damn it all to hell,  I will ignore you.... and have nothing else to say to you for a while.  I have hundreds of pics and at least 12 or 15 vids posted.  Go fap over them and leave me the hell alone.  K?Thx.Bai! ^.^;

The quickest way to turn me (or many women, for that matter) off completely is to *ignore* what I have to say.   I don't appreciate it.  I damn sure don't tolerate it.  And it makes me laugh AT you, not with you.  Idiocy does nothing for me, lovies.  I suppose that's why I have such a huge thing for nerds and super-genius intellectuals. :)

Bottom line?  Yes, I am naked on the internet.  But I also have the right to choose who I do or don't interact with since all my content is free.  You ain't payin' me, bitchezzzzzz.... so you're also NOT my Boss.  This means I could give a rat's ass when you make an attempt at telling me what to do.  Ask my husband how well that works out. :-p

<3 LGB

Fifty Shades of Blah....

Where do I even begin?  

This book caught my attention because my husband directed me to a news article about the book that stated how many women were SO into its dark, brooding, BDSM scenes.  What a joke!  I am not sure how or why this book is even on the Bestsellers list.  Perhaps it's because I am such an avid reader of erotic lit and enjoy BDSM?  

Either way, while I do commend the author's attempt at authenticity, I was appalled at how obvious it was that the author's a Brit trying to write from the perspective of an American.  There were sooooo many odd choices of wording (i.e. the white shirts we Americans refer to as tank tops or "wife beaters", or simply undershirts were referred to in the book as a SINGLET!!!! WTF is a "singlet"???? I had to look it up as we in the USA never, ever use that term! Then there was the implication that any 21 year old college student would actually say something like, "Hey girlfriend!" when talking to one of her besties.... ummm... what?!?!?!  No one actually says "Hey girlfriend!").  I was actually offended by the abundant use of British vernacular amongst two obviously very American people.  The oddness occurred often enough that it consistently threw me off while I was reading, causing me to rely on Kindle's built-in dictionary quite often.

The next thing that I did not enjoy were the Dom/sub and sex scenes.  Classical music during a scene amongst two people under thirty years of age?  Odd, but I went with it.  However, the protagonist's freak-out over being spanked (when she was ready to completely throw away her virginity on a whim) was over the top.  Ana, to me, seemed a lot like Bella Swan.  While I did enjoy the Twilight series overall, I absolutely *do not* like Bella Swan, and likewise felt no connection with Anastasia.  She was too fake/phony/whiny/whatever for me.  I haven't read many books and had an actual angry reaction, but this one certainly made me pissed by the time I reached the end.

I appreciate what the author attempted to do, but I think this book is better described as a romance novel for vanilla people who occasionally think a kinky thought or two.... not as BDSM erotica, which it clearly is not.  If it were more appropriately described, then I probably wouldn't have been as put-off and disappointed as I was.  I really wanted to like this book, but as an erotica fan and non-vanilla young American, I simply couldn't.  The one thing I did enjoy, though, was the non-traditional ending.  That was well-played and executed on the author's part... even if the protagonist was "over the top" about it.  I mean really.... sleeping in a bed smeared with your hymen's blood is cool, but six swats from a belt on your ass is enough to make you get up & start packin'???? Whatevs.

Scooting further into Wannabe-Cougar Status: LGB’s Kryptonite

What is it about teenage boys that makes them so dangerous to me? Most of the time, I make my way through life just fine, thank you very much! But every once in a while I am like a deer in headlights… and the car speeding towards me is a super-hot young thing and for some reason I just can’t damn tear myself away.

I think a lot of it has to do with the fact that even after all these years I am still enthralled with the beauty that is my husband. I think he’s gorgeous, and he makes my heart go pittypattypat all aflutter stutter with his super-long lovely lashes, caramel honey eyes, luscious lips, smooth skin, perfectly maintained and manicured nails, and svelte body. He’s always been oh, I dunno… 60-100lbs smaller than me from the time I’ve known him. Sometimes more, sometimes less, and it drives me absolutely insane with lust. I have no idea why, but it does. He has a sense of style that makes me trust his judgment even more than my own at times. He is stunning, and intelligent, and an intellectual, and passionate about the things he cares about in a way that makes me melt. He is a plethora of knowledge and more than capable of carrying on a conversation with others on a slew of topics, and these are all things that drive me insane with lust if other men have them as well.

So how does all that relate to younger or even teenie bopper hotties? Well, I have this almost fetish-like lust for the perpetually playful as well. Many men tend to lose that with age, and they become hardened and jaded. They also become less curious about the world at large, and I love learning things and can’t ever imagine getting to a point where I no longer wish to discover what else there is to know.

But the main reason I love young guys: long hair and skinny jeans. OH. My. GOD. Now, my hubbykins would never be caught dead in those skinny jeans, LOL. But sometimes he does get to grow his hair out ‘til it gets a bit shaggy and I *love* it. And… although I think most men now might’ve been comfy wearing skinny jeans in the 80s, they totally won’t rock them now. Young guys don’t seem to mind one bit. I like those that don’t rock the skinny jeans too LOL. Emo/scene/goth/industrial/punk/whatever=all good with me. I would say urban, but sagging below the ass makes my skin boil in a NOT so good way. It pisses me off and usually comes with a disgustingly disrespectful attitude. Sorry for the generalization/stereotype but I have yet to be impressed.

The only thing that continues to bother me as I move further into my Wannabe-Cougar Status is that a lot of times, there is an uncertainty, or an insecurity, on the young guy’s part. He isn’t really sure that he actually LIKES( bigger girls, black girls, married girls, older girls, moms, teachers, fill in the blank with your fantasy here) whatever, but wants to try it out. He doesn’t really know if he CAN have sex with another man in the room. He can’t say for certain whether or not he’s able to commit to anything one way or another unless he and I can get together alone first. UGH. So annoying! And so sad.  Still, I want to bite them so badly. They’re scrumptious!
^.^;

Post-fuck-Bliss!

I am feeling languid... sleepy... unable to focus. The hubby says that what happened last night I fully brought upon myself, but I beg to differ. I agree that we both teased each other throughout the day with sexual banter, texting, images.... but I couldn't even hold myself upright when we were done, much less move! How on earth is that my fault? How could I have possibly done that to myself? LOL.

I want to curl up in bed the rest of the day eating sweet goodies and reading. I don't want to be up. I don't want to do laundry. I don't want to cook or clean up anything. I just want to snuggle up with a book and something yummy and snooze between chapters as the day slips away, feeling the remnants of the deliciousness of what happened last night.

My question to you, dear readers if you're out there, is this:
When having sexual escapades, do we bring it upon ourselves if we find that we are completely unable to function due to total satisfaction & bliss afterward? LOL. Do we have only ourselves to blame if our partners give us exactly what we want by fucking us relentlessly, shamelessly, wantonly until we cum all over themselves and ourselves, being totally depleted once we're through?

It is so delicious... but jeez, I don't want to do anything today... and it's fast approaching noon! :P