Fifty Shades of Blah....

Where do I even begin?  

This book caught my attention because my husband directed me to a news article about the book that stated how many women were SO into its dark, brooding, BDSM scenes.  What a joke!  I am not sure how or why this book is even on the Bestsellers list.  Perhaps it's because I am such an avid reader of erotic lit and enjoy BDSM?  

Either way, while I do commend the author's attempt at authenticity, I was appalled at how obvious it was that the author's a Brit trying to write from the perspective of an American.  There were sooooo many odd choices of wording (i.e. the white shirts we Americans refer to as tank tops or "wife beaters", or simply undershirts were referred to in the book as a SINGLET!!!! WTF is a "singlet"???? I had to look it up as we in the USA never, ever use that term! Then there was the implication that any 21 year old college student would actually say something like, "Hey girlfriend!" when talking to one of her besties.... ummm... what?!?!?!  No one actually says "Hey girlfriend!").  I was actually offended by the abundant use of British vernacular amongst two obviously very American people.  The oddness occurred often enough that it consistently threw me off while I was reading, causing me to rely on Kindle's built-in dictionary quite often.

The next thing that I did not enjoy were the Dom/sub and sex scenes.  Classical music during a scene amongst two people under thirty years of age?  Odd, but I went with it.  However, the protagonist's freak-out over being spanked (when she was ready to completely throw away her virginity on a whim) was over the top.  Ana, to me, seemed a lot like Bella Swan.  While I did enjoy the Twilight series overall, I absolutely *do not* like Bella Swan, and likewise felt no connection with Anastasia.  She was too fake/phony/whiny/whatever for me.  I haven't read many books and had an actual angry reaction, but this one certainly made me pissed by the time I reached the end.

I appreciate what the author attempted to do, but I think this book is better described as a romance novel for vanilla people who occasionally think a kinky thought or two.... not as BDSM erotica, which it clearly is not.  If it were more appropriately described, then I probably wouldn't have been as put-off and disappointed as I was.  I really wanted to like this book, but as an erotica fan and non-vanilla young American, I simply couldn't.  The one thing I did enjoy, though, was the non-traditional ending.  That was well-played and executed on the author's part... even if the protagonist was "over the top" about it.  I mean really.... sleeping in a bed smeared with your hymen's blood is cool, but six swats from a belt on your ass is enough to make you get up & start packin'???? Whatevs.

Slave (Cat Star Chronicles) - By Cheryl Brooks

Slave is a futuristic story about a girl who falls in love with a human-like guy with cat-like features who she actually encounters as, you guessed it, a slave! She buys him for a really cheap price and has a run-in with the previous owner that leads to her pretty much sealing the deal and sealing her fate.

The main character (Jack) is witty at times, and mostly likable, but she gets to be annoying in her efforts to NOT sleep with the hottie cat-guy (who she affectionately nicknames "Cat"). They end up going to a planet where some pretty interesting things happen publicly, sex-wise, in order to rescue the main character's sister who was kidnapped and sold into slavery six years prior to when the story takes place. In fact, the only reason the main character purchases her slave in the first place is to use him as a decoy. The planet to which they're going is one where the men keep their women on cutesy little chains and have their child-like temper tantrums calmed by their slave girls' performances of various libidinous acts.

Some of the descriptions and the imagery created in the story were quite good! The author did a really fantastic job with describing the settings of the various places where the book takes place, and you really get a feel of what the two protagonists are seeing. The slave and his "captor" have a common enemy, who turns out to be the main antagonizing force at the climax of the story. This is, of course, as traumatic and sad as any erotic romance with humanoid kitties can be expected to be, but of course ends with its own HEA (Happily Ever After), so all is well.

Some unexpected fun things that I loved about the story were the taste and effect of slave boy's cum, the fun thing done with the main character's nose in the first restaurant, and that the book incorporated being sexually open, even though once they were a "couple" they decided they wanted each other for themselves (which is all too typical). I also liked the unexpected themes of nature and balance, peace and tranquility, and help coming from the most unexpected places. It's hard to find some of these things in a story such as this, so this was refreshing to me.

All in all, Slave was a good read that wasn't too over-the-top on the sex scenes, if that sort of thing turns you off. I recommend it to those who like spicy erotica, and are fairly open-minded, due to the public sex scenes and the idea of sharing lovers. If neither of those things are mood-kills for you, and you enjoy guys who can do interesting things with their cocks (like rotate them in all sorts of directions, at will!), then check this one out when you get the chance! :)